My first blog!

There seems to be a first post for everyone, so I thought long and hard about what my first post would be about! Transparency...that sounds good (or not!). That came to mind because I hope to be somewhat transparent in what I write. It also came to mind because I think we spend a lot of time safeguarding ourselves from being transparent; but when we do allow others to see who we really are (given the right 'others'), it feels so much better.

I was never much for pretend play or Halloween costuming because I just didn't think it was based in reality and who needs an alternate reality?? However, I have a different perspective on that now that I've got a 2 year old (well, not quite; but it's close enough to not say 21 months!). We have tea parties with her Raggedy Ann dolls and I read some stories to the whole host of stuffed animals one day, offering them tea as well. That's pretend play, right? And I found that I discovered a part of me that had been lost - a part I was trying to cover up. So, in my efforts to live in reality, I actually have lived a lot of my recent years in an alternate reality - trying to make life work without being true to who God has made me. And it just doesn't work! Putting on a happy face when you are doing a lot of negative self-talk, doubting you know anything when if you'd just BE TRANSPARENT and ask for advice, all the other women might feel the same way! Why is it that we think "I'm the only one who doesn't know what I'm doing"? I have learned in the past 21 months that I don't know everything and I may not always do it right; but that's okay. I believe that lesson can only be learned and embraced when you allow others to see in and minister to you. And it also keeps you from going down the black hole. So here's to being more transparent and authentic and here's to blogging!